Hello, I'm Pam Hollingsworth. I went by my maiden name, Pam DePuy, for over 27 years
while working in law enforcement. I spent 22 years at the Shasta County Sheriff's Office. While at the Sheriff's Office, I worked in the Custody Division, Patrol Division, Major Crimes Unit, and the last 10 years back on patrol. During my tenure in the Major Crimes Unit, my main assignment was child molestations, other sex-related offenses, and major crimes. While working patrol, I was a field training officer and Officer in Charge. During my career at the Sheriff's Office, I was involved in numerous Officer Involved Shootings (OIS) and critical incidents.
At the 22-year mark of my career, I decided it was time for a change! I had already missed so many holidays with my family, my son's birthdays, and numerous sporting and school events of my son. I decided to leave the Sheriff’s Office and promoted to an Investigator at the Shasta County District Attorney's Office in the Bureau of Investigations. I spent two and a half years as an Investigator and then promoted to the Supervising Investigator.
Devastatingly, in March 2021, one of my old Sheriff’s Office partners took his own life. This incident had a tremendous impact on all who knew him, and the hit was especially poignant to his brothers and sisters in law enforcement that he left behind.
On October 2, 2021, I retired after 27 years of Law Enforcement in Shasta County. This decision was not made lightly, and it hinged greatly on my health and family. Unfortunately, I was starting to have a lot of physical ailments due to the continued and past stress of working in law enforcement .
After retirement I was lost—both physically and mentally. I had more time on my hands after retirement, and some of the horrible, old calls for service that I kept stuffed away in my brain started to reemerge. They likely started surfacing because I was no longer constantly keeping them carefully pushed away with my work. With nothing to occupy my mind and no important tasks to keep me squared away, painful memories of what I had experienced throughout my long career flooded back.
I decided it was time that I start taking care of myself, which was a new experience for me; I have never put myself first. I made doctor’s appointments for numerous ailments, mostly for the constant pressure on my chest, high blood pressure, and other ailments. After stress tests, hormone replacement therapy, and a battery of other labs and tests, I started to get back on track health-wise.
This progress toward better physical health allowed me to begin focusing on my mental and emotional health as well. I started looking back throughout my career and began processing things I hadn't dealt with yet. I also had to deal with some personal tragedies that I really never had the opportunity to process, grieve, and recover from. When I was working in Major Crimes handling child molestation cases, I lost twins at three months old. During the same assignment, I lost another pregnancy. It devastated my husband and me severely. Later, God blessed us with our son Brody. When my son was two years old, my mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's and could not live alone anymore. Since my mother's diagnosis, my two sisters and I have been taking care of my mother, which I continue to do currently. My mother's disease has slowly progressed over the last 16 years, and being her caregiver over the last year has been extremely challenging. After looking back in my career and personal life, I have accepted the fact that I suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Injury (PSTI). I don’t share this with a lot of people because I really didn't want anyone to know except close friends.
I didn’t know it at the time, but my life was soon about to change for the better. While browsing Facebook, I saw a post on "Peer Support for First Responders." The post was written in April 2022, and it was regarding a Service Dog named Rin who was trained for high/low blood pressure, high/low blood sugar, migraines and anxiety. Rin was looking for his forever home with a first responder. I was very interested in Rin but thought there was probably someone out there that needed Rin more than I did.
In May 2022, I saw another post regarding Rin still looking for his forever home with a first responder. I made up my mind with my husband’s support that I was going to do everything in my power to add Rin to our family. I knew it was a match made in heaven and love at first sight. I felt God had put Rin in my life at this time to help me heal and bring enjoyment to our family. I believed Rin would help heal a lot of the trauma I had endured during my life, help with my anxiety, keep me calm, alert me if I was having a medical problem, bring enjoyment to me, be my running or walking companion, and restore my life to what it was years ago.
I reached out to my friend Phaedra, who is the administrator of the Facebook page, and she put me in touch with another friend/coworker, Matt. Matt was great and gave me all the information regarding Rin. Matt put me in touch with Darcey and Rick Shank, the owners for Pawsitive Difference and Rin, in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho. After talking with Darcey, I knew that Rin and I would be an awesome team. I knew Rin would help me with my anxiety (PTSI), blood pressure, and assist with my mother. I also believed Rin would be beneficial for my mother who has a lot of health issues that Rin is trained for. Darcey and Rick were gracious enough to hold Rin for me until I could travel to Idaho in the end of June to meet, bond, train, and bring Rin home.
There was a spring in my step, and I really looked forward to meeting Rin and bringing him home to our family. I bought Rin all sorts of toys, doggy stuff, training treats, and miscellaneous items. My husband, Steve, made jokes to people that I had a new package arriving daily for Rin. My husband, son, and I began to get super excited as it got closer to our trip to Idaho and bringing Rin home.
On June 25, 2022, Steve and I left Redding, California for Coeur D'Alene, Idaho (a 12 hour drive!). We spent the first night with my old Field Training Officer, Tom, in Post Falls, Idaho. The next day Tom and his wife showed us around the area, and I asked to go by Pawsitive Difference Training Facility even though it showed “closed” online. I looked through the window and could see my beautiful Rin. I saw a couple employees in the office and knocked on the door. Rin's trainer, Anna, was gracious enough to open the door, and I told her we were Rin's new family and wanted to know if we could see him. Anna welcomed us into the facility and got Rin for us. Rin was very shy for a little bit and then came over and got on my lap. I had the biggest smile on my face and knew it was a match made in heaven!
I started training with Rin Monday morning! Anna and Rin did great training me. Every minute I spent with Rin, the love and bond grew stronger. On Tuesday, I trained with Anna and Rin, and we continued to learn, bond, and love. After training, Rin and Steve did some awesome bonding, and Rin came home to the Airbnb with us. Rin and I trained every morning during the week, and Rin came back to the Airbnb with us to bond. We took Rin to several restaurants, brewery, stores, walks, lake, and golfing! Everyday, the love and bond grew stronger between Rin and me, as well as Steve. Steve and I were really enjoying Rin's company and both had huge smiles on our faces. Friday was test day! Rin and I had become such a great team; I had confidence that we would pass the Public Access Test and Service Dog Training Program. I was a little nervous, but I knew our hard work would pay off. WE PASSED! It was such an amazing feeling and accomplishment. The phenomenal staff at Pawsitive Difference had an awesome graduation for Rin and me! This was a very emotional moment, and Pawsitive Difference even spoiled Rin and me with a goodie bag to take home!
Those seven days were one of the most moving experiences in our lives. It was so fantastic to see from start to finish the process of meeting, trusting, training, bonding, loving, and graduating with an amazing service dog who also gets to live life as a normal dog too!
Rin completes me as well as our family! Rin helps me maintain a cognitive state of mind and keeps my anxiety down. He gives me complete comfort wherever we go together. Rin is always by my side and has changed my outlook on life for the positive! He is an amazing helper with my mother and helps keep her calm. Rin brings so much enjoyment to our lives as well as great conversations and laughs!
Rin has given me my complete independence back, the confidence and security to go do what I want to do. It's amazing how well Rin fits into our crazy little family! Rin loves to work, be silly, play, go on walks, go golfing with us (he helped me get my hole-in-one!), travel, play with other dogs, and experience new things! We can't thank Pawsitive Difference and all their staff enough for all the training and love they put into Rin and me. Pawsitive Difference, you have truly changed my life, outlook on life, given me comfort, and given me healing and unconditional love!
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